The Realities of Mom Burnout and How to Combat It
Let’s talk about something real: mom burnout. It’s that feeling when you’re running on empty but somehow still need to keep everything and everyone going. Motherhood is beautiful, fulfilling, and rewarding—but let’s be honest, it can also be downright exhausting. If you’re nodding along, then keep reading. This one’s for you.
What is Mom Burnout?
Mom burnout is the physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that comes from the continuous demands of parenting. It’s feeling overwhelmed, drained, and sometimes even resentful. It’s when you love your kids more than anything, but you just need a break. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so.
My Story
Burnout hits different when you’re staying at home. I always refer to it as my inability to “turn off”. Like even when they sleep, I’m on (don’t get me started on phantom cries). It’s hard to describe to anyone who isn’t in it and it’s hard to ask for help. There is no break and there’s often to relief when I need it most. I felt it hardest with my PPD running a muck, when pregnant and trying to entertain a toddler who was still very much toddling, and when my daughter cries. There is something about her cry in particular that makes my heart race and truly can bring on what feels like the start of a panic attack. I have an incredibly supportive partner, but I just need help of a different kind sometimes.
Signs of Mom Burnout
Before we dive into the remedies, let’s identify the signs. Here are some common symptoms of mom burnout:
- Chronic Fatigue: No amount of coffee seems to help.
- Irritability: Snapping at your partner or kids more often than you’d like to admit.
- Loss of Interest: Things you used to enjoy now feel like chores.
- Feeling Overwhelmed: The simplest tasks seem insurmountable.
- Emotional Numbness: You feel disconnected from your emotions.
How to Combat Mom Burnout
Now that we’ve established what mom burnout is and how to recognize it, let’s talk about how to combat it. Here are some strategies that have worked for me and might just work for you too.
1. Prioritize Self-Care:
I know, I know. You’re rolling your eyes. But self-care isn’t just bubble baths and manicures. It’s about taking care of your mental and physical health. Even if it’s just 15 minutes a day, make time for yourself. Read a book, go for a walk, or just sit in silence. Trust me, it helps. When I was a teacher and would come home to two kids, my favorite part of my day with the first 10 minutes of my plan time. Silence, sitting, nothingness.
2. Delegate and Ask for Help:
You don’t have to do it all. Delegate tasks to your partner or older kids. Ask friends or family for help. Remember, it takes a village. I know for me, this is my hardest one… until I snap.
3. Set Realistic Expectations:
Lower your standards. Your house doesn’t have to be spotless, and it’s okay if dinner isn’t gourmet. Focus on what’s important and let go of the rest. My husband often gets riled up with my son is climbing all over his chair while eating at home, to this I say “but does it matter?”, rarely is it a make or break moment.
4. Connect with Other Moms:
Join a mom group or find an online community. Sharing your experiences with others who understand can be incredibly validating and comforting. Another tough one, but if I had a dollar for every time my therapist sent me a mom group to join, I’d have like 15 dollars. 15 isn’t a lot of money nowadays, but it is a lot of mom groups. They’re everywhere for a reason.
5. Practice Mindfulness:
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your day. This could be as simple as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling. Being present can help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety. My Apple Watch is very insistent on this one, tons of breathing and mindfulness reminders when my heart rate goes bonkers (so, always).
6. Get Moving:
Exercise is a natural stress reliever. You don’t need a rigorous workout—just moving your body can make a big difference. Try a yoga class, a quick jog, or even dancing in your living room. “We Will Rock You” is my toddler’s favorite song because it gives us an excuse to bang on things for 3 minutes.
7. Treat Yourself:
Sometimes, a little retail therapy is in order. Treat yourself to something that brings you joy. This could be a new book, a piece of jewelry, or even a fancy coffee maker. I use my Keurig K-Elite Single Serve Coffee Maker that I have in my little bedroom nook. It’s perfect for those mornings when you need an extra boost.
The Importance of Seeking Professional Help
If you find that burnout is severely affecting your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Talking to a therapist can provide you with tools to manage stress and improve your overall well-being. Remember the 988 help hotline.
Conclusion
Mom burnout is real, and it’s tough. But acknowledging it and taking steps to combat it can make a world of difference. Remember, you’re not alone, and it’s okay to ask for help. Prioritize self-care, set realistic expectations, and connect with others. You’ve got this, mama.
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